You know, like most of you, I had never considered an animal, much less a puppy, to be of any value short of being a fluffy companion. A few weeks ago, my family and I bought a Pembroke Welsh Corgi puppy online. She cost about a grand, and was delivered via American Express!
The first time I boarded an airplane was when I was 14. I've already been belittled by a small dog who eats garbage because she thinks Styrofoam is food. Fucking idiot.
Like my puppy, I've explored many an ass in search for answers(""). In my quest for knowledge I've sifted through countless chronologies of literature and video-based documentaries in search of untapped and unclaimed research-based theories.
It wasn't until late into my research that I realized that I couldn't even read. I then turned to observational research. I began my new research. The basis for my theory was that animals, though seemingly savage in their natural environment, could teach us more about ourselves and our own environment.
I began with the most obvious test subject; my brand new puppy. Within just a few short moments, she taught me more than I could have ever hoped for. She boldly took a huge shit on our brand new carpet. To claim this as anything short of an under-achievement would most appropriately be called an under-statement! Wow, though... That is a whoolle lot of feces there..
brb flushing my puppy down the toilet
