Insane Anti-Alcohol Ads

From gravity-altering alcoholic beverages to mind-imploding use of natural herbs, it's been proven that you will instantly die from any amount of use of either of these evil substances.

I'm willing to admit that alcohol is proven to be unhealthy, and everyone who knows their ass from their own head knows it too. But the anti-alcoholism ads, especially in our schools, have stepped so far over the edge of reality that I've grown more trust in vintage cartoon characters (not the modern ones, they're forced by the media to be superficial and politically correct, unlike the old-fashioned racist and honest cartoon characters). To be brief, I'll use the specific ad that was shown to the senior class in 2007. At first it was a pro-war recruiting tool used to try and fool teenagers into believing that the army is what it isn't. It's all guns and helicopters and fighter jets and dominance over foreign countries. After a few good solid minutes of propaganda it suddenly took a turn for the worst in the form of an anti-alcohol (anti-fun) ad.

In this ad, a teenager is seen handing a beer to one of his cohorts. I made the assumption that any second now a message would be made along the lines of "don't drink", or, "don't give in to peer pressure". Well, a message was made alright. The very moment the receiving student made contact with the beer, the students warped into outer space where there is no gravity. The student began spinning in slow motion, wildly out of control! However, the other student who had been handing the student the beer was completely unaffected.

The message is clear: Do not drink alcohol, if you are a pussy.


Coming soon: Insane Anti-Weed Ads

Koeniger, the Racist!

So on Wednesday, March 8th I had some work to make up in Physics (all of 3rd quarter).

After she helped me through some problems she wrote up a new one. Towards the top of the chalk board are some useful equations, numbered (god knows the fuck why). Koeniger then asked me which equation to use to solve the problem at hand. I looked up and decided number four was the way to go. I tell Koeniger, "I choose numba' fo'". My intent being to explain to her, in a stylish manner, that I had picked number four.

After a few seconds of silence, she leans over her desk and whilst speaking softly (because she knew it was wrong) asks: "Why are you talking like a black person?".

Need I say more?

Yes, I do.

Towards the beginning of the year we were doing a lab during her class which involved clamps of different sizes. There was a unique clamp among the bunch, bigger and blacker than the rest in girth and color respectively. When Koeniger referred to the clamp as "Big Blacky", the class chuckled. Get it? Black people. Anyway, in response to the laughter, she exclaims "What? It's not like I called him big NIGGER." We went silent in disbelief and then erupted into laughter all over again. Oohh black folks...

Well at least her racism and cultural ignorance is limited to that of African Americans. That we can all agree on.

Except for this time when Bernardo (no longer in our Physics class, weird) was trying his very best to learn. He asked Koeniger a question about the material we were covering. Koeniger, being old and irritable responds "I can't even understand what you're saying! Speak up! Speak English! No comprendo!" Bernardo, understanding her belligerent abuse of the Spanish language says, "I don't speak Spanish, I speak Portuguese".

Koeniger responds angrily: "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!?"

Is Koeniger a racist? Yes.
Is Koeniger a bad teacher? I'll say.
Is Koeniger culturally (and possibly generally) ignorant? Indeed.
Do you have a relevant Koeniger story? If so, email it to nwfndh8red@gmail.com for me to post up.